Most TV cooking is repulsive. Frathouse cocksuckers with gimmick hairdos and catch phrases, hooting and hi-fiving, “bringing it,” celebrating gluttonous sports bar chow. Dipshits abbreviating their ingredients and making childish, cutesy-poo “comfort food” full of “yummy veggies,” shit like that. Detestable. You can spot the people who have their shit together because they don’t have to tell you how delicious their food is. Of the people who cook on television, I have admired people like Jacques Pepin, Julia Child, Mario Batali, Jamie Oliver and a few others because they are free of drama, display good taste and masterful technique, and use clear exposition to bring you up to speed. From that description you’d think I’d like the Martha Stewart cooking shows, but all that mealy, beige country club food looks like I could only choke it down under threat of prison.
Via Food Network Humor.